Horse Shows! The thrill of victory and the agony…..

Horse shows!!! They can be amazingly fun and devastating. Why do we place so much emphasis on something we do for fun? Why do we let one persons opinion matter so much? Well obviously we want the justification that all the hours of hard work, not to mention the financial burden are paying off. It’s easy to look at a score and think “wow I clearly have no clue what I’m doing!” So once I play through all the drama of “I suck!” and “Everyone must think I’m clueless” the reality can finally sink in. This was one snap shot in what is a long relationship with my horse. Last I checked I’m not going to the Olympics, I’m not riding a schoolmaster, I have a full time job and four kids that keep me from riding 10 horses a day. I also can’t afford to be in full training with an amazing trainer. These are the facts and honestly I’m ok with that.

I love my horses and the day to day rides, time spent grooming, grazing or just watching them are worth more than any blue ribbon. This is truth but I can’t lie, scoring in the 70%’s is a great feeling. I want my horses to keep progressing. I want them to perform to the best of their ability and I want to be the best rider/trainer I can. It’s a process and the learning never stops. At least I hope it doesn’t, I love learning new things.

Sometimes my brain is my worst enemy. I get caught up in the spiral “My horse would be so much better with a different rider.” or “I’m never going to get to the next level!” Then there’s the thought I seem to repeatedly fall back to “I should just quit and spend more time with my kids!” I’m so thankful for my friends, particularly my best friend (my husband Drew) who rationalizes things and reminds me why I love horses, particularly dressage and why I plug away day after day with the boring stuff so that suddenly what once seemed impossible has become second nature. Also lets face it, I love my kids more than I ever thought was possible to love something but if I stayed at home with them I would not be happy. Riding and having horses for me is like breathing. Likewise being a wife and mother also defines me. It’s who I am and spending time away from my kids for a few hours makes me a much better mother. This has been proven time and again when I go days without riding and I just get super grumpy over nothing! It’s the times when Drew insists that I go see my horses when I realize I need to balance being a mom and also spending time with my horses.

So I continue to ride and train in this wonderful, rewarding and at times incredibly frustrating sport. I’m incredibly fortunate to have Saltira. She tries her heart out for me. I’ve never had a horse like her that just is so willing and tries so hard. At times it feels like she would walk through fire for me, I just can’t ask her to go through water. Yeah that is a conversations we’ve had and I’ve decided right now it’s not worth the argument and I’m ok with that. Particularly since the first time I asked her to collect for a canter pirouette she was like ok this is hard but I’m giving you 100% and wow! Her ability to sit and collect shocked me. Or that medium trot she can give me that comes out of no where, I feel like I’m on an airplane taking off. I have to say that’s good enough, not quite that much or you wont be able to balance the power! No yet anyway…

So back to horse shows. Taking Saltira down the center line is different than many other horses I’ve shown. If her score isn’t great typically it’s because of a lack of communication or a baby horse moment. I really REALLY wish that when people look at the scores of others there could be a footnote about what happened in the test. We put ourselves out there to be judged when we show. Not just by the judge at the show but by everyone who checks scores. I wish you could say yeah I got a 56% at level x but I’m riding a non-warmblood with this type of body and these types of gaits. Or today I didn’t ride well because my kid was home sick all week and I just couldn’t ride as much as I would have liked. Or this is a baby horse or a horse I’m rehabilitating and we are just here for experience. I really wish people wouldn’t form preconceived ideas without knowing the entire story.

How about we just give each other credit for getting out there and doing what we love. Spending time with our horses and friends at the show. This year I have decided to make some personal goals about my riding. Number one is to give myself credit for trying. Stop placing so much pressure on whether I get a particular score. I also want to take time frequently to reflect on how far I’ve come with my riding and training. My last horse, Bo, has such a great personality but unfortunately he has become quite tricky to ride caused by some less than great training which I daily blame myself for. We have had some great rides and some atrocious rides but over all I learned more from him than from any other horse I have owned. For that I am incredibly grateful but at the time it was so emotionally difficult. A roller coaster of “we are amazing!” to “OMG I can’t ride to save my life! I suck!!!” I wish I could sit here and say that I wouldn’t change any of it because of how much he taught me but lets be honest I still kick myself for the mistakes I’ve made. The most distressing thought is of how good he could have been… As my father would say, hind sight is 20/20 so all I can do is try not to make the same mistakes again.

I sit here writing this after seeing my youngest daughter at her horse show. She has been riding a small gray mare. Typical of ponies she can be difficult and you know what, my daughter loves her anyway or maybe because they both have sassy personalities. My daughter does not care one bit if they go to a show and place last in every class because her pony breaks to a trot before each jump. She doesn’t come out of the ring angry, pouting or crying. No instead she hugs her pony, feeds her treats, leads her all around the show grounds all day. She is just so incredibly happy just to spend time at the show with the pony. As a parent I feel like I should be teaching her but the reality is that watching her at shows has reminded me why I compete. It’s about that relationship with your horse, spending time with them and with friends. Laughing, smiling, relaxing and over all admiring these amazing animals. Obviously getting good scores and winning makes it even better but I’ll try to follow my daughters example. Even if we come home empty handed, spending all day with my horses is still a fabulous day.

So get out there and do what you love. I’m going to stop beating my self up mentally about my perceived failures. Every opportunity I have to compete is special, win or lose it’s about having fun. Every time out there riding and showing is a learning experience. My horse and I are doing the best we can on that particular day. Bottom line, use the competitions as a learning experience, smile and just keep telling your horse how wonderful he or she is. At the end of the day your horse doesn’t care about winning or losing. Have fun and learn from what went right or wrong. It’s all about the journey.