One of THOSE Weeks

Ever have one of those weeks were it seems like everything you do just goes wrong?  Well that’s been my last week.  So it started with a visit to try a “kid safe” pony for my daughter.  Sounds perfect right?  Watch the trainer ride him and he’s super cute.  So it’s my turn to get on.  As I approach him he kinda gives me a look.  So I talk to him and take my time.  Walk around, gather up the reins and just as I’m about to put my foot in the stirrup I have a fleeting thought: maybe I should have someone hold his head.  I brush the thought aside as  this pony is “kid safe”.  Well I should have listened to the little voice in my head!  Just as I start to pull myself up he bolts.  I mean like “peace out no way!”  His momentum goes forward and right so I didn’t have enough to get over his back and stop him.  I get dumped really hard on my back and it hurts REALLY BAD!

I get up, brush it off, of course I’m fine. Then again maybe not….  A lot of ibuprofen, Tylenol and ice later I’m still very uncomfortable.  So a visit to my favorite physical therapist helps greatly to realign my pelvis.

When I finally get back out to the barn and think I’m good enough to ride I get on my mare.  She feels a bit tight in her back, a little up.  Can’t really blame her it’s been raining for what seems like a months.  Again the little voice in my head says: get off and lunge.  Again I brush it off, she’s a good girl and we will be just fine.  I put my leg on and she kicks out.  I say: “Hey don’t do that it’s rude!” and put my leg on again and she lets out a huge buck.  In my head this is really going to hurt my back again! So I sort of let go and half hop of and half let her buck me off.  As I land on the beautiful footing in the area I then think “wow this is so soft!”  I take inventory of my body parts and discover I’m fine- no really I am this time.  Go collect naughty mare.  This time put her on the lunge line and discuss going forward without bucking.  She settles and is once again my girl with a soft eye.  I say a prayer and get back on.  Put my leg on and she thinks about balling up but I stay persistent and thankfully she goes forward in her beautiful trot.  We finish on a good note with lots of praise at how good she is.

I go home that night and proceed to spend the night mentally beating myself up.  I must really be awful if a pony and my “quiet” mare can unload my in less than one week.  Seriously I’m not nearly as good a rider as I had hoped I was…  Maybe this is a sign that I should just stop riding, give up horses and focus more on my family.  Horses are expensive and time consuming.  Now the “mom guilt” really takes hold.  I could spend soooo much more time with my kids.  My fabulous husband stops me mid rant. “You would be miserable without horses!  It’s part of who you are.  You aren’t failing as a mom.  The kids, for the most part, are polite, helpful in the house, responsible for their actions and doing well it school.   They are loving to each other, and yes, they do fight but no doubt that they are also best friends. So stop making more out of this than it is!”

Thank you my awesome supportive husband!  The next day I pull on my breeches, send the kids off to school and head back to the barn.  Today I do listen to my gut and lunge my mare.  She is perfect on the lunge line so it’s a brief session.  I get on, again a quick prayer first, ask her to go forward and thankfully today she goes forward.  There are a couple moments when she thinks about sucking back and balling up.  I just stay persistent without kicking or squeezing hard with my leg or driving with my seat.  Result is she goes forward and gives me the most lovely, forward connection to the bridle.   Ah I can ride!  Don’t get me wrong I still have tons of self-doubt but if I could just learn to listen to my gut instinct or that little voice in my head I think things would go much smoother.  Bottom line what I’ve learned from this week is #1: trust my instincts and #2: trust my training it has been correct (at least most of the time).